Don't Ever Change Ok?
by Speedy Speck
Summary: Tifa volunteers to test out Cid's new machine with somewhat strange results...One-Shot...Written for 'The Sacred and Profane'...Rated M for Language


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII does not belong to me...however much I may like it to. I own no characters, places etc. etc. so please don't sue me! I'm a nice person :)

Author's Note: This is my twentieth fanfic...it's another RenoxTifa...I had a lot of fun with this :D...though I don't think it's my best...In fact I'm strangely not happy with it...but oh well... The idea was *Tifa volunteers to test out Cid's new machine and it ends up giving her a different personality day by day. How will Reno deal with it? And it was requested by 'The Sacred and Profane'...Hope it's good! :) PLEASE review as I really enjoy reading your views and they inspire me to get better! It would make me very very happy! Anyway stop reading this and get on with reading the fic! Hope you enjoy! :D

The young woman looked at her friend nervously, ''Are you sure it's safe?''

''What was that? I can't hear you over the damn machine!'' Cid shouted over the violent rumbling coming from the metal box.

''I said, are you sure it's-'' Tifa was cut short by a rather loud bang, coming from the bottom of the box.

''Don't worry Tif! Just try and stay still!'' the young woman just looked at her friend with complete dread. She was basically standing in a rather shoddy looking oversized tin can.

''Ok she's ready! Hold tight Tif! One... Two... THREE!'' the man's grubby middle finger came down on the large blue button in the middle of a very filthy control panel.

For a moment (and much to Tifa's relief) nothing happened. ''...Cid, I don't think it's-AH!'' The machine gave a very violent jerk, before the young woman found herself in a veil of darkness.

* * *

Reno had just gotten in from work, and was chilling out on the sofa when he heard a rather insistent knock on his front door. _Tifa forgot her keys again? _The Turk pulled himself up and made his way to the door. When he opened it, the sight he saw was not one he had expected.

''Don't just stand there Turk! Help me get her in!'' A very grubby Cid, carrying a slightly dazed looking Tifa in his arms was bellowing at the young red head.

Reno could only lead the disgruntled Captain into the living room, where he laid the rather limp young woman.

When the red head finally found his voice, he wanted answers, ''What... is going on?''

''Tif was testing out my new invention, didn't go as planned.''

''Well what does your invention do?''

''How should I bloody know! That's why I asked her to test it!''

''...So you used her as your personal lab rat! You could have killed her!''

''Don't you fucking dare go mouthing off at me! I care about that girl! And if you hadn't noticed she's not dead! Just...a bit out of it...''

''Oh well that's fine then...'' Reno said rather sarcastically and bent down to stroke his girlfriend's cheek. A few minutes paused in complete silence, and the Captain came to the conclusion that it might be time to leave.

''Just...give me a bell if you have any problems Turk...'' Cid took one last concerned look at the female before leaving the room and the building.

Reno didn't bother to watch the Captain go, he was to preoccupied with the rather pale young woman on his sofa. He watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest, and brushed a few stands of hair from her face. ''Darling...please be all right...''

The next morning when Reno woke up, his first thoughts were of his girlfriend. _I wonder if she's up? I'll kill Cid if anything has happened to her...stupid bloody git... _As he made his way from the bedroom he heard some strange tapping sounds coming from the living room. _Well I guess she's up...but...what is she doing? _When the red head entered the room to investigate he got a rather large shock.

Tifa was up all right, but something was really very wrong. For a start, she seemed to be dressed in what looked like a light pink polo shirt, and some oversized beige _Beige..._ trousers that she'd pulled up ridiculously high. Not to mention she'd done something extremely weird to her hair _Has she put gel in it...? _and the fact she'd placed a rather ugly pair of thick black rimmed glasses onto her pretty face.

But that wasn't what shocked Reno the most. What really threw him was the fact that she seemed to be surrounded by an array of X-Men comics he'd never seen before, and seemed to be snorting rather loudly (not to mention scarily) at one of the pages. The red head shuddered rather violently, he was actually quite scared...and he was a Turk...

Tifa looked at her boyfriend and gave another rather loud snort before pushing her glasses further up her nose, ''Wanna play Dungeons and Dragons?''

_What... _''the...hell...''

* * *

''Cid, answer the bloody phone!'' Reno was holding the receiver firmly to his ear, praying he wouldn't get the answering machine. ''Yo Shera! Is Cid there I need to speak to him NOW!...What do you mean he's out, out where! Fine, fine I'll call him back later!'' With that the red head slammed the phone down and looked at his girlfriend, who was now setting up a board game.

He walked over to the young woman and shook her firmly by the shoulders, so much so that her glasses fell to the carpet, ''Yo, snap out of it!''

She giggled rather nervously, before picking up the black rimmed face wear and quickly putting them back on.

''Babe...you don't even need glasses!''

''Don't be silly!'' She pushed his shoulder lightly and turned back to her half set up game, ''Now come on I want to play Dungeons and Dragons!'' She again gave a rather weird sort of half snort, half chuckle that made Reno raise his eyebrows in astonishment.

He sighed, ''Well...I guess I can't do anything till Cid gets back...''

Reno ended up playing the game for the entire morning...and a large chunk of the afternoon. Along with Tunnels and Trolls, Traveller and RuneQuest, as well as some video game called Final Fantasy on a crappy old Playstation Tifa managed to dig out of the attic.

He looked at his girlfriend as if trying to figure something out. _She's actually kinda cute in those glasses..._ He leaned in and began kissing her neck. ''Shall we...go to the bedroom?'' He raised a eyebrow while flashing her a cheeky smile, ''It'll be better than any board game...''

She snorted at him for nearly two minutes before turning to her insulted looking boyfriend, ''Do you know the chances of me actually getting any real pleasure from use doing...that! At least seventy out of a hundred women don't reach orgasmic climax from...intercourse...Plus, I'd much rather watch Captain Jean-Luc Picard...'' She turned back, ignoring the rather disgruntled Reno and began searching through some dvd's.

_Cid...I am so gunna kick your ass..._

He then got to spend the rest of his night watching nothing but Star Trek, and listening to Tifa rather annoyingly snort everything Jean-Luc said something 'funny'..., until he finally fell asleep on the sofa.

* * *

''Oh my GOD! This is like...sooooo rank!'' Reno awoke to find his girl friend staring into the living-room mirror. ''I look like totally gross...you know what this means?'' She turned to her boyfriend with a rather wide smile, ''Shopping!''

_God...it's like she's on crack... _''Darling...how are you feeling...today?'' _I've got to call Cid again..._

''I'm like really good! But these clothes have so got to go! And what are with these like...totally hideous glasses...'' The young woman threw them to the ground before turning to the red head. ''Now, how about some wake up sex!'' And before the Turk knew what was happening he found a very naked...and very horny Tifa straddling him. _I guess that phone call can wait..._

Three hours later, and the Turk was lying on the bed, exhaling grey, warm smoke. He definitely liked today's Tifa, though he'd have to make sure to give the flat a good scrub...the young woman had expressed a want to have sex in each and every room. His thoughts on this? _Yo...well...who am I to disappoint her..._

Eventually he managed to gather the strength to get up. The flat was now empty, as Tifa had gone out on a shopping trip, as apparently according to her, all her clothes were 'totally...like...ew!'.

As he slowly made his way around the flat (picking up clothes as he went), he found a note in the back pocket of his trousers where his wallet should be. Her writing was no better than her speech, but he managed to figure out the basics. Apparently she'd taken his wallet with her on the spending spree, as according to her 'It was about time he spent some gil on her'.

Tifa didn't get back to late, and when she came in, her new attire certainly got the red head's attention. It was definitely a lot better than the beige monstrosity she'd been wearing the day before.

''Yo! Looking good babe.''

''Oh I know! I'm like totally sexy!'' She gave him a little twirl, flashing him a rather nice view of her butt, before chucking him the black leather wallet.

''How much did you spend?''

''Well the shoes cost seven, and the -''

''Seven gil?'' Reno sounded both surprised and confused.

''No silly! Seven hundred.''

''Seven...hundred...gil...on a pair of shoes...?''

''Yeah. But don't worry the dress only cost five hundred!'' And with that she flounced towards the bedroom to put away her shopping. Reno just stood in stunned silence until he finally managed to come to his senses.

_I really need to call Cid..._

Luckily for Reno, he actually managed to get through to the Captain this time,

''What do you want Turk?''

''What do I want? I want you, right here, right now!''

''...What the fuck are you talking about?''

Reno realised the Captain had gotten the wrong end of the stick, ''No, no, no! That's not what I meant, well it is what I meant, but! Just listen something is up with Tifa...she keeps changing...I'm not really sure how to explain it...but you need to come and fix it now!''

Cid seemed to find the Turk's frustration amusing, ''Ha! Well don't worry ginger boy! I'll just have to a bit of inventing, but I should be able to fix her, I'll be over as soon as it's done!''

''Well good! And try and hurry up about it...I don't know how many more Tifa's I can take!'' The Turk slammed down the receiver, but not before adding, ''Oh, and I am NOT ginger!...''

''Reno...baby...'' The red head turned to see a very naked Tifa standing by the bedroom door. ''How about a repeat performance of this morning?''

His eye's widened with apprehension, _Again..._

* * *

Reno hadn't actually been able to get up for hours, his whole body ached...he'd spent a good six hours going at it with the young woman. And while he enjoyed a good...session with Tifa any day, there was a point when even he had to give in to exhaustion. Tifa hadn't been as tired, so had spent the rest of the night in the living-room watching some terrible sounding chick flicks.

_Best get up...wonder what kind of Tifa I have today..._ It wasn't long before he found out. As soon he walked (rather gingerly) into the kitchen, he was met with mounds of paper, all with things scrawled on them. And in the middle of them, sat Tifa...who seemed to have been taking fashion tips from Vincent Valentine.

He picked up one of the pieces of paper, ''Is this poetry?''

''Yeah...'' Her voice was distant and somewhat dreamy.

''Is it about me?'' His voice was hopeful, but somewhat unconvinced.

''No, it's about the meaningless of life...''

''Oh I see...'' _Great...she's some kind of depressive...emo...goth...vampire...fantastic...she's turned into Cloud..._

''You know...We're all just empty and hollow and-''

''Yo, I'm gunna stop you right there darling...'' He leant in and gave her (what he thought was) an amazing kiss, that would be sure to put a smile on her face. But when he pulled away she just gave him a rather dreary expression and then walked over to the phone.

''What are you doing?''

''I'm gunna call Vincent and Cloud, invite them over...we can write poetry together!''

The Turk quickly ran and put a hand down on the receiver. ''Yo, no way! I'm not letting you hang out with those two, you'll end up making some kind of suicide pact...''

''But-''

''No buts! You can stay here and...watch happy movies, and listen to happy music and just be...HAPPY ok!''

The Turk ended up watching cartoons all day, with a rather less than enthusiastic Tifa. And much to his discomfort, she made a note, to point out alleged 'sub-plots', like how Dennis the Menace only acted out because his father never showed him he loved him, and how Squidward would one day be driven over the edge by Spongebob and commit suicide...

* * *

''Ergh...Tifa...there's something wrong with this omelette...it's...crunchy...'' The red head started picking bits of hard shell out of his teeth. When he'd entered the kitchen that morning, he was pleased to find Tifa happily making breakfast, though he had spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out what 'type' of person she was, without much success. But now he thought he might have cracked it. _She's gone...stupid..._

''Oh really? I read the instructions very clearly, it said three eggs!''

''Yeah but...you're not meant to include the shells...''

She giggled light heartedly, ''Oh dear! I am a silly sausage!''

The Turk was just picking the last piece of pink shell from his mouth when there was a knock on the door.

''Yo, I'll get it...'' The red head didn't really want to have to eat another one of Tifa's attempts at breakfast.

He was more than pleased when he found a rather pleased looking Cid on his doorstep.

''Thank fuck you're here!''

''Hey, I'm the one who swears, you're the one who makes bad jokes!'' The Captain shoved past the Turk and made his way into the kitchen.

''Woman! You're coming with me, we're gunna get you fixed!''

''Huh-Ow!'' Tifa had turned around to face Cid, only to walk straight into one of the kitchen cupboards.

As the Captain lead the very dazed woman from the kitchen, he heard Reno whisper, in all sincerity, ''Please...make her...her.''

* * *

It had been two days since Cid had used his new invention to 'fix' the young woman. And for once, one of his creations had worked. It was late evening, and the two lay in bed, after spending a night under the covers.

Tifa's head lay on Reno's warm chest, gently rising and falling with his breath, ''...It is so good to be back to normal...''

''Hm...''

She pushed herself up, so she was looking straight into his face. He looked strange...thoughtful.

''Are you ok? You look...funny.''

He smiled, ''I'm fine...just thinking you know...''

''That's new for you!'' The young woman giggled as she laid back down.

''Tifa?''

''Yeah?''

''I've got a request...''

''Anything for you Reno...''

''Don't ever change...ok?''

She grinned at the red head, ''Sure thing sweetie...'' She placed a rather passionate kiss on the Turk before nuzzling her head back into his chest.

''Oh and next time... get Cloud to test Cid's inventions...''


End file.
